You'll be indestructible
by KatPeeta23
Summary: "You aren't alone, Katniss. One day, and I swear on my life that this is true, but one day, all of this pain and agony...it's going to be gone like it never was really there in the first place." Peeta whispers. "Katniss," he takes a deep breath, "One day all of this pain is going to be invisible."
1. Chapter 1

It's only my third day back to this prison and already I feel like dying.

"Oh look, it's the whore." Glimmer laughs evilly. Her boyfriend, Marvel, shoves me up against the locker and his hands grip my shoulders viciously.

"You're so fucking ugly." He hisses.

"Hey! What the fuck man!" Peeta Mellark shouts. He just started at school today. He's been going to Belmont High School, but he moved out of Belmont, Maine to Andover, Maine so now he goes to Andover High School where Finn and I go. Finnick Odair, my step-brother, he ignores me being bullied, but I know he feels terrible about it.

"Who are you?" Marvel asks. Nobody has _ever_ tried to get Glimmer and her gang to stop bullying me, so this is a first.

"Peeta," Finn whispers. "You don't know what you're doing."

Peeta looks at Finnick in outrage. Peeta, Finnick and Marvel grew up together. Right when Glimmer met Marvel, he turned into a complete jackass. They've been dating for the past four years. Well, three, because senior year just started two days ago. It's Wednesday. Peeta and Finn are still best friends, but Peeta just started at this school. He doesn't know about the bullying.

I don't really speak…to anyone, except for teachers, occasionally my brother and my Dad. I don't have a mother.

"Finnick," Peeta looks at his best friend in outrage and exposes something nobody knew. "She's your _sister_ and you're going to let them treat her this way?"

Gasps are heard around the school.

"Sister?" Glimmer asks. "Finnick, is that true?"

"Yes it's fucking true!" Peeta shouts. "Marvel, put her down! You don't touch a girl, especially not Katniss!"

What is that supposed to mean?

Marvel tightens his grip on me. Peeta is at least a head taller than Marvel, and he's very buff, so Marvel flinches and releases me.

"Scram, nerd!" Marvel says.

I'm an idiot for listening to him.

I push my glasses up the bridge of my nose because they were falling and I walk away.

The last thing I hear before I walk into my classroom with Mr. Marshall is Peeta tell Marvel, "You used to be so fucking cool, but now you're just an asshole. Just because she wears glasses and she doesn't have D's and F's like you, doesn't mean she's a nerd. And she's not ugly, she's beautiful, and you're an asshole for telling her otherwise!"

The door clicks shut behind me, but I hear Peeta continuing to rant. I sit in my desk in the back. The warning bell rings, and that's when people start coming into the room.

_Why did Peeta Mellark stick up for me? He's wrong. I am not beautiful. I am a nerd. I am ugly. Already right there, that's two cuts I am to make tonight. _

….a….

The lunch bell rings, and I finish writing my notes, close my notebook, stuff it into my bag and walk out of my classroom, down the hall and into the lunchroom.

I eat my healthy meal, consisting of my favorite fruits and cold vegetables with ranch dressing.

Well I suppose that is a lie because I have dangerously fast metabolism so I'm very skinny, but I'm fit and I have been in gymnastics and I still am since I was four years old, and I actually work at Apollo now so not only am I doing what I love, but I'm getting paid to do it. I have abs. They're not like so defined that it's disgusting, but they're there and if you saw me in a bikini you would see them. I'm not weak, either. I could do pull ups with one arm for ten minutes and only get a little bit tired. I have all of the cute teenage clothes and I always have them on under the sweatshirt. I just don't take off the sweatshirt because I need to hide the cuts in my wrists. I know if I took the sweatshirt off and actually showed a little bit of what I had to offer, I wouldn't get bullied as badly as I do.

"Whore," Glimmer says as she passes the table. That makes three, right? Three cuts? "Skank." She stops and looks at me. "I hate you. I hope you know that."

She walks away, and I make a mental note that I have to cut myself five times, four for the words and one to grow on.

…..a…..

The last bell rings and I'm halfway to the bus when Finn block my way. He's my step brother. My actual mother drove herself right off a cliff when I was four, and my Dad, Haymitch, he remarried to Finn's Mom. Dad because Finn's legal guardian, as well as my step mother, but then my step-mom left and we haven't seen her since Finn and I were ten, although Dad and Kathryn, my stop Mom, they got married when I was five, so Finn and I just have my Dad. He still calls my Dad though, because his Dad left when his Mom got pregnant with him. Peeta used to live in our neighborhood, but in the summer going into ninth grade he moved to Belmont, Maine, but he moved back to his old house in our neighborhood. Finnick, Peeta and Marvel were best friends all the way from preschool to the beginning of ninth grade. Then Marvel met Glimmer and started going at me so Finn told him to fuck off and they stopped talking. Peeta just grew apart from Marvel but Finn and Peeta stayed connected, which is why they are still friends to this day.

Me though, I don't have any friends. I have this girl I speak to at gymnastics, and her name is Madge, and we go to the same school, but she doesn't talk to me and I don't talk to her.

Since Peeta lived in our neighborhood and Finn and Peeta have been best friends for a while, Dad and Peeta's parents are very close friends.

I stare at Finn. "Peeta is taking us home because he has a license and a car and he lives down the street." He pauses. "Dad said so, now let's go."

To be honest, I was best friend with Peeta and Marvel and my brother too, and I was invited to the birthday parties and Peeta and I used to be absolutely inseparable, but then High School came. The bullying started and I became depressed and I started cutting.

That was when I stopped answering the phone for Peeta and I began not speaking to Finn. Dad new right away that something was up and took me to the doctor. I had a therapist for a while but I lied and told him I was better. I do have my depression medicine and I do take it, but it doesn't help much.

So now here Finn and I are, walking to the car, and I almost stop short. Peeta is leaning against the hood of his red 2014 Ford F-150.

And he's in a white tank top, and his muscles are straining against the thin material covering his stomach from me. His biceps are fucking huge and he is so fucking sexy that I start _sweating_.

Holy fuck, I want to fuck him.

All of the girls have stopped walking and are numbly staring at him. He pays no attention, because he's on his phone, either playing flappy birds or texting someone.

His package looks like it's straining in his jeans, a sure sign he has a big sexy dick.

I almost stop walking.

Finn looks at me and snorts. "I should be disgusted but ever since you were kids you guys have had a thing for each other."

I stop walking and he turns to face me. "I do not have a _thing_ for Peeta, nor have I ever."

"Bull to the shit." He says.

"You mean bullshit?" I ask.

"Fine." he smirks. "You look me straight in the face and tell me you don't thing Peeta is hot without smiling and I'll let you off free."

I smack his arm. "Fuck you."

"There's my kitty!"

I storm past his after making sure to shove him and he chases after me.

"I thought you guys got on the bus for a second." Peeta says, looking up into my eyes.

Fuck, I am so thankful that I am good at masking my emotions.

"Bye prostitute!" Glimmer shouts as she speeds away in her pink sports car.

Well, I guess that's six cuts now, isn't it?


	2. Chapter 2

I watch blankly with tears blurring my vision as blood pours down my wrist. The water of the shower turns red. It slithers down the drain in cool designs.

Doesn't Glimmer know I'm only human? I have feelings!

I finish washing my body and I get out and wrap my wrist up. It's Friday night, and it's time for my annual escape.

I have the woods on the left side of my house, where my bedroom is, and I have a hideout in the forest. I have an extension cord plugged into the wall that leads to my hideout, and I have a refrigerator and a TV and a microwave and a light and a fan and I have a bed in there, too. The first time I went there, I stayed for a week and had the police looking for me. I came home and went to sleep in my own bed. Dad woke me up when he saw I was home and started questioning me and I told him not to worry about it and he kept arguing. He got called out to work though, as he is a police officer, and he never continued the argument when he got home. The second time I did it, the same thing happened, and the third, but I think Finn and Dad know a little bit about where I go, because the fourth time I left, they didn't call the cops.

I wrap my wrist up in white gauze and hide my blade again. Peeta took us home again, except for this time he didn't go home; he stayed because he is staying the night.

I'm not going to stay the night though. I don't work tomorrow, sadly, but Dad let me claim the garage for my own little gym so I have weights in there and I have a mat so I can do floor routines and we live down the street from a park and the bars there are pretty damn high, but I do have a beam at home too. Slowly, I pull on my sweats and my tank top and sit down on my bed. I normally wait until everyone goes to bed to leave. My bathroom is in my room.

Finn comes barging into my room with Peeta, and I see both of them look at my wrist.

"What happened to your wrist?" Finn demands.

Shit, I need to lie.

"I cut in on the bars at the gym." I reply coolly.

"Oh." Finn narrows his eyes. "I haven't seen you in action in a while. Why'd you stop teaching me?"

I did used to teach him gymnastics. I shrug. "What do you guys want?" I finally ask.

"We're ordering pizza." Peeta says. "What do you want on it?"

"I don't care. Just don't get peppers or onions. I hate both of them."

"Alright," Peeta says, and I see the way he's looking at my wrist that he doesn't buy the little _I cut it on the bars at the gym_ thing. Finn doesn't either, but he won't say it. They walk out and shut the door.

I suppose I could leave now. I hear the shower in Finn's room start. I open my window and have one leg out when peeta walks in, and he stares at me. He's on the phone, but he frowns and hangs up. "What the hell are you doing?" Dad isn't home, he's working, and Finn is in the shower.

"Um…" I bite my lip. "I'm going out?"

"Where? Why can't you use the front door?"

"Because." I chew on my bottom lip. "Don't tell anyone, okay?"

He stares at me for a long time. "I know you didn't hurt yourself on the cars. Finnick knows too. Why do you let them win?"

"Don't tell anyone," I repeat, and then I hop down from my bedroom window on the second floor and land on the trampoline. We have a very large backyard and it's perfectly trimmed and we even have a nice garden. Honestly, Dad's wealthy, because my grandfather was a millionaire and when he died he passes all of his money down to Dad, so he pays for people to take care of the lawn and stuff, and Finn and I have nice phones and bedrooms. When I feel like Peeta isn't watching me, I run into the forest, following my trail of Christmas lights I lined around the trees all the way to my little hideout. I go in and shut the door, and get a soda from my fridge and I sit down on my bed.

And Peeta walks in. I stare at him. "You can't knock?"

He looks around. "What the hell is this?"

"This is my own place; you are welcome to leave whenever you want."

"Thanks, but I'll pass." He eyes me. "Why do you hide here?"

"Because sometimes I just need to get away. Can you leave please?"

"Katniss…" he hesitates. "This isn't you."

"Yes it is."

"No it isn't. This is Glimmer. Glimmer has done this to you. Come back, Katniss. Let's go back to the house, okay? Don't shut yourself away like this. It's unhealthy."

"Peeta, just leave me alone. You don't know me. You know the old Katniss, the one from back when we were fourteen. I'm seventeen now. Things are different."

"Yes, now you are depressed and you harm yourself because of the false accusations made about you." He crosses his arms. "I'm not going to watch this happen to you. Things in your life are about to get very different. I'll do anything and everything in my power to bring back the Katniss that Finnick and I grew up with."

"Good luck. She's long gone."

"No she isn't." he insists. "She's in there somewhere and I'm going to find her if it's the last thing I do. Now, let's go."

"No, I don't want to leave. You can't tell anyone about my hiding place!" I stand up. "Please Peeta, promise me you won't tell anyone."

He sighs. "I won't tell. Now let's go."

…a…

Finn is standing in the living room in a pair of sweatpants with no shirt when we walk in the house. Peeta took me to Little Caesars to get the pizza so it didn't seem suspicious.

"Where'd you go?" he demands.

"To get the pizza…" Peeta says.

"You couldn't have invited me?" he follows us into the kitchen.

"You were in the shower. I thought it would be better if you had food to get out of the shower to."

Someone rings the doorbell and I walk over to get it, and when I see his familiar brown eyes, I slam the door shut again.

"What? Who is it?" Finn asks.

I'm about to start crying. "It's Marvel."


	3. Chapter 3

"Marvel?" Finn repeats. He shoves me aside and rips the door open. "You have a load of balls for showing up here."

"I know." Marvel says.

"What do you want?" Peeta asks menacingly.

"Can I come in?" he asks.

"No." Peeta and Finn say in sync.

"I'm not here to cause trouble. I came to say that…u realize how much of a twat I've been to Katniss. I've come to apologize and to tell her I broke up with Glimmer."

Peeta and Finn look at him in shock, and then Finn lets him into the house.

"I can't believe you fucking remember where this house is." Finn grumbles under his breath. I see Marvel looking at my wrist and he looks like he's in a shitload of pain.

"Sorry for acting like I have a corncob shoved up my twat." Peeta snickers and so does Finn. I just stare at him with my arms crossed. "You aren't ugly; you're actually really sexy without that sweatshirt. You aren't a whore or a skank or a slut or anything I've ever called you, and I'm _really _sorry for pushing you around and shoving you up against the lockers all the time."

I know I need to forgive him. I don't remember much about my mother because I was so young when she drove off that cliff, but I do remember her telling me to always be the bigger person. So that's what I have to do, I need to be the bigger person.

"Can you forgive me?" he asks.

"Yes." I reply.

He smiles. "Good." He looks at Peeta and Finn. "Am I back in?"

Peeta and Finn look at each other.

"On one condition," Peeta finally says. Marvel raises his eyebrows. "If anyone sees Katniss getting bullied, you have to stand up for her. Fair?"

"Fair." Finn and Marvel say.

They spit in their hands and shake on it. I gag. "You guys are so disgusting."

"Aw come on Kitty!" Finn teases. "Join us!"

"Fuck no." I walk into the kitchen and get some pizza, and then I go upstairs and brush my hair and take off the gauze off my wrist. I clean the cuts and leave them out to air. Football tryouts were today, and so were cheerleading. The teammates should be announced on Monday.

Normally Marvel is the quarterback and Finn is normally defense. There are 24 players on a football team.

As for the cheerleading team, Glimmer is normally the captain, so even though I'm better at gymnastics and moves than she is, she'll never let me on the team even if I did try out.

….a….

I wake up to my alarm at six in the morning sharp. Marvel stayed the night too. On days I don't work, I bike down to a fruit stand and get fresh fruits and I come home and chop them up and I eat the fruits and make the leftovers into a smoothie. I'm probably the healthiest teenager out there. I haven't been sick since I was eight, so I've had perfect attendance and principles list since then because I take notes as the teacher speaks and I study very hard. I make my smoothie and eat my fruit. Peeta comes downstairs with Marvel and Finn. All three of them are shirtless.

"What are you drinking?" Marvel asks.

"She's having her annual breakfast." Finn says. "She bikes to the fruit stand down the street and gets fresh fruits and comes home, eats half and makes the other half into a smoothie, which she drinks as she does gymnastics." He yawns. "Want to share that?" he makes a grab for my smoothie.

"No."

"Why?" he asks.

"Because I paid for it," I reply. Dad comes downstairs then, too. It's been only boys for a lot of my life because when my step-mom was here, she was always working. I had only Dad and Finn when I started my period, and actually, Peeta and Marvel were there too, and it was the most uncomfortable day of my life, riding to the store with four boys and standing with them watching me awkwardly as I decided which pads to get. Ever since then, I've made Dad give me the money so I could go buy the shit myself.

"Going to the gym today sweetheart?" Dad asks.

"Nope," I reply. "The younger ones are there today."

"So?" he asks.

"Dad, they're all like three years old or older and they run around like crazy. The one time Madge begged me to go and I did was probably the worst decision of my life."

"Oh," he says. "Your instructor, or boss or whatever, she called me yesterday."

I stare at him, "And?" I ask.

"She said that there's a pretty big chance you could make it in the Olympics when you get older." He looks at me. "Last time I saw you do gymnastics, you were ten years old and only a level five. You are level ten now, correct?"

"Um…yeah."

"Maybe I'll have to make it down to the gym and see if your instructor was telling the truth. Or…" he looks at me. "You could just show me now."

"Oh yeah, I want to see." Finn says.

"Yeah, I want to see too." Marvel says, and Peeta nods in agreement.

"We don't have much room…"

"I was thinking about getting those beams put in the backyard." He says. "You know the ones on the side of the house that have been sitting there since you were in sixth grade?"

"Yeah?" I ask.

"Want me to?"

"Yeah."

"Alright, boys, how about you help me out?"

….a….

I never did get to show them gymnastics because it started raining. Today is going to be the worst. My alarm just roused me from my sleep. I get out of bed and take a shower, and then I put on white skinny jeans and a tight light purple shirt over my beige pushup and matching vans, and I make my breakfast out of the fruit in the house and pack my lunch and then I grab my bag and triple check I have all of my homework. Finn is sitting in the kitchen eating a Toaster Strudel. Dad comes down. "I hope you kids know that you are riding with Peeta every day now." He says. Last night I got rid of the scabs on my wrist and they're gone to scars. I'm so healthy I heal very quickly.

"Yeah, Peeta told us last night." Finn says. I go upstairs and brush my teeth and hair and I braid it. I hear Peeta's horn honk, and I go downstairs to the car. Finn comes out too, and Peeta speeds off.

…a…

I'm halfway in the school when Glimmer starts in on me.

"You are such a little cunt. I can't stand you. I hate everything about you. You make me sick. You're so ugly and stupid and fat and retarded and lesbian."

I look down at my stomach and back to her.

I am _not_ fat. I do know that. I have abs for fucks sake and I weight 105 and it's all muscle. Everyone that I see outside of school tells me that.

The rest though, it hurts a lot, and I almost cry, but I suck it up and walk past her to my locker. "You deserve to die." She says. She's never said that to me, but I really try my best to ignore her. "You are so fucking fat. You are drowning in your rolls of two hundred pounds."

Peeta, Finn and Marvel are watching me ignore her. "I don't understand how the fuck you got so fat."

Alright, that tears it. I take my sweatshirt off and lift my shirt up to show her my abs. "If I'm fat, then your obese." And then cover my stomach, slam my locker and shove past her to first period, leaving the entire hallway dying in laughter at what I've just said to Glimmer.


	4. Chapter 4

**WARNING: If you do not current have tissues in your hand, you will need them. I did.**

I know at lunch this time around Glimmer is going to freak the fuck out on me and I bet she's going to try to fight me, but I am way too strong for her dumbass to come at me.

But when I walk into the cafeteria, I know things are going to be way different. She's using words, not physical. "I hate you." She says. "You're so ugly. You are a skank. You are a whore and a cunt and a prick and a fuckard and the only reason you are so fucking skinny is because you starve yourself because you have an eating disorder. You were that damn sweatshirt to cover up the cuts on your wrists because you are way too weak to handle your emotions."

Oh my god I feel like I've been stabbed fifty times over. I sit down at my table and put my head down and fight the tears, because she's right about everything except me throwing up my meals. "Ladies and gentlemen." The principle says over the intercom. "I would like to announce the people that made the teams. Let's start with the football team." I don't move my head, but I hear the cafeteria call silent except for the few people whispering about who they hope wins. "Okay." He says. He starts listing people and pauses for at least a minute for everyone to celebrate. "Defense," he pauses. "Finnick Odair."

One of Finnick's best friends, Johanna Mason gets up on the table and starts screaming _fuck yeah!_

I look up. "Quarterback…" I hear a long pause and I think it' because the principle is in shock. "Peeta Mellark."

"FUCK PEET!" Marvel starts clapping Peeta on the back. He has been quarterback for the past three years, but this time he isn't, and he isn't being a sore loser about it.

"And lastly, offense, Marvel Richardson."

Cheers again. "Now for the cheerleaders." He starts listing a bunch of girls. Johanna Mason always makes the team and her name doesn't get mentioned. Glimmer though, she's always the captain but her name gets mentioned.

And she isn't the captain.

Johanna looks bored, picking at her meatloaf next to Finn's girlfriend, Annie Cresta. "And lastly, our captain is Johanna Mason."

Johanna Mason looks up in susprise. "The fuck?" she asks, and then she starts laughing and she gets on the table and opens her arms wide. "That's fright! Gimme love bitches!"

"But we have a problem." The principle says. "We are short one member for the cheerleading team. If anyone has someone to recommend, please come and see me. Everyone recommended will be pulled out of the crowd in seventh period today when the football and cheerleading teams are practicing so they can try out. No exceptions." He gets off the intercom.

Peeta looks at me and elbows Marvel and says something, who elbows Finn, who taps Annie, who elbows Johanna, who looks at me. I see her eyes narrow slightly. Then she stands up.

Fuck, she better not be coming over here. I look down at my book quickly.

Sure enough, she sits down loudly next to me. "Your brother says your pretty kick ass at gymnastics."

"Eh…" I shrug.

"He said your instructor said you could be in the Olympics."

"Yeah…"

She gets up and walks away without a word. "Katniss Everdeen." The principle says. I look up at the sound of my name. "You have been nominated to join the team."

Johanna looks at me and takes her seat across the cafeteria again. Peeta stands up suddenly and says something.

_Gosh, why do I keep looking over there?_

I look down at my book, and a minute later, Peeta sits down on my left and Finn sits on my right and then everyone in the football team and the cheerleading team are sitting at _my_ loner table, except for Glimmer. I look up at Peeta. "I'm going to make you come out of your shell." He says.

"I'm not joining the cheerleading team."

"You won't have a choice if I choose you." Johanna says. "Stop being a pussy."

I'm sick and tired of people saying shit at me. I slam my hand down on the table and stand up. "Stop being a bitch!"

She stands up too, and slams her hand down on the table, and then she narrows her eyes and smirks. "You're pretty awesome Everdeen." She takes her seat again, and I look at her in confusion. "But I have to ask." She looks at me. "Do you wear that sweatshirt because you like it or because Glimmer's a cunt?"

"She wears it because Glimmers a cunt!" Finn says, and he said it loud enough to grab Glimmer's attention.

"Do you have clothes for tryouts?" Johanna asks, changing the subject. "I can lend you some."

"I've got some in my gym locker." I reply.

….a….

When there is football practice and cheerleading practice during school, it's considered a prep rally and everyone in the whole school goes. It's always during seventh period. I was instructed by Mrs. Hannaford, the cheerleading coach, to get ready for tryouts, so I'm in a white tank top and black spandex and my blue and green Nikes. This is the first time anyone has seen me. I put in the contacts so I don't destroy my glasses.

So far, all the girls are terrible.

"Last up, Katniss Everdeen," Mrs. H says into her megaphone, and he looks annoyed like she knows she will never get someone for the team that is good enough to get them to championships. I walk out onto the field, and everyone looks at me. "Put your hair up." she says. I band over and put it up in a high bun like how I wear it when I'm in gymnastics. She looks at me for a moment. "Just try and impress me." She runs her hands over her face. The football team is watch us, sitting in the field.

I look around. The whole stadium is staring at me in shock.

All I have is the ground. I don't have a beam or a vault.

I guess I'm doing a floor routine.

How the hell does she want me to do this? What does she want me to do?

"Are you going to do something?" she snaps.

"I don't know what you want me to do."

"Can you do a cartwheel?"

"Yes."

"Do it." I do it.

"Do a handstand." She looks bored to death. I do it. "Is that all you can do?"

"No."

Finn comes walking over and whispers something and Mrs. H's ear, and her eyes get all wide. "You are a level ten in gymnastics?"

"Yes."

"Well, do a floor routine or something! An aerial. Do something to impress me."

"Like what?"

She pinches the bridge of her nose. "Alright, let's say you are a competition, and the school is the audience, but the cheerleading team is your judges. You are on the floor. Do a floor routine."

"Um…" I pause. "Okay."

I don't know what she wants me to do.

"Or…" she pauses. "Are you better on beam?"

"Um…it doesn't really matter, actually."

"Okay well do something. I'm getting bored." Johanna says.

"Okay."

"Do you need me to spot you?" Johanna asks.

I laugh actually. "No."

"Okay."

So I turn towards the empty part of the football field and take my shoes off. I shut my eyes for a moment. I break into a run with my eyes still shut, and open them just as my hands hit the grass and I start doing round off backhand spring double full twist. I hear gasps from everyone and then they all start cheering, and then I do backward aerials all the way back to the cheerleading team.

Glimmer looks furious. She's standing next to Coach H, who looks overjoyed. Johanna is staring at me in shock.

"You look like you are just getting warmed up." She says.

I shrug. "That's because I am." I reply.

"She can't be on the team! She's a skank!" Glimmer says, and Coach H looks at her.

"Glimmer I've had it with you and the bullying! You are off the team!"

….s….

I had cheerleading practice afterschool, and Peeta and Finn had to stay last, so I have to walk to twenty miles home, in the dark, by myself.

And I think I'm being followed.

Sure enough, I look over my shoulder and see Glimmer.

"You are such a skank. I hate you. You're a whore. You are a fucking asshole. You deserve to die. You need to die. I want you to die. Go kill yourself. Go cut yourself so deep that you bleed to death. I hope you burn in hell."

Oh my god, I think I'm going to cry. Why is she saying these things?

"You need to die. I fucking hate you so damn much. You should DIE!" she pushes me into the street, and I almost get hit by a car, but I scramble out of the way and keep walking.

_Ignore her._ "I fucking HATE YOU! You made my boyfriend turn against me! You are worthless! I want to watch you die. You are so fucking ugly that you make someone ugly look radiant. You need to DIE!" she shoves me into the street again and I scramble out of the way from the car. "You are the most disgusting _thing_ I have ever seen. I would give anything to watch you die. I would pay any amount of money. When you kill yourself, I'm going to feel so proud, because I will know it will be because of me. I want you to fucking die. I hate you and everything about you. Your Mom killed herself to get away from you. Your stepmom left because she hates you. Finnick doesn't talk to you because he hates you. Marvel and Peeta only go near you to be by Finnick. Your Dad hates you, and I bet one day he will put you up for adoption. You aren't loved by a_nyone_ and I can't _wait _until the _day _that you _die_ because the _days_ I don't have to see your slutty _face_ are the best day of my life!" I'm crying now, but my head is down and my hood is up so she can't tell. "When you aren't at school tomorrow, I am going to be so thankful; you whore, because I'll know you ended it!"

She turns around and walks away just as I start up my driveway. The house is dark.

Maybe I will end it. It's the perfect time to do it.

I am worthless and ugly and I know I'm not loved by anyone. I hear sirens off in the distance and they get louder, and for some reason, I panic and grab a knife from the kitchen and a bottle of sleeping pill from the bathroom. Peeta and Finn pulling into the driveway with Dad behind them, and Marvel is here and Peeta's family, and there are cops swarming outside.

Maybe someone saw Glimmer and knew something was going to happen to me, and that's why there is police here.

I open my window and manage to shut it and run out back forest just as people start coming in the house. I unplug the extension cord and run away with it, so nobody can find me.

Nobody knows about my secret hiding place, so this is where my body will stay, and I won't be found, and I won't be missed. I'm just a burden, and Dad doesn't love me. Mom killed herself because of me, and Finn doesn't talk to me because he doesn't love me, and nobody loves me and I'm just unwanted. I'm invisible. I'm not noticed unless it's so someone can be mean to me. My feelings are invisible. Nobody understands my pain. I've been trying to find my place for so long, but I'm different, and nobody likes different.

Nobody loves me. Nobody understands. There's nobody I can trust.

I can't trust _anyone_ because _nobody_ understands.

I'm afraid of myself and of being different.

I wish, god, I _wish_ it was just sticks and stones, but it's not, because words are like knifes.

I'm tired of the labels.

I will never feel happiness. I will never feel pleased. I will never feel myself.

Even if I did get help, I wouldn't be better.

This life is a joke. _I'm _a joke.

I'm going to do it this time, and I know I won't stop. I've thought about it before, but I never brought myself to do it.

But this time is different.


	5. Chapter 5

PEETA'S POV

"So some girl was following her down the street?" Finnick asks and he runs his fingers through his hair.

"Yeah, I swear!" Madge, that girl from Kitty's gymnastics saw Kitty. "She was telling her to kill herself! I've known Katniss since we were little, and she had that look like she was going to do it. The girl pushed her into the street! She almost got hit twice, and the first time was by me!"

Haymitch comes out of the bathroom. "My sleeping pills are gone, and the silver wear drawer was left open. She's definitely going to do it." He sounds dead. Johanna and Annie are here too, because when Finnick got the call from his Dad, he freaked out and started crying.

"We need to find her!" Finnick shrieks. "I won't let my baby sister kill herself.

I have this weird memory tugging at my brain.

Oh yeah. I was going into her room to see what kind of soda she wanted and she was climbing out of her window.

I snap my fingers. "I know where she is!"

Everyone starts asking where, but I run upstairs and open her window, and I jump out onto the trampoline.

"Peet where the fuck are you going?" Finn shouts. I run as fast as I can through the forest.

I can hear her crying in there, and I can hear the pills rattling.

No, she can't. I walk into the room. She looks terrified. She's turning the pills over in her hands and muttering under her breath about how nobody loves her and she isn't cared about.

But she's so wrong, because I love her, and I always have.

She looks at me and starts crying harder. "Get out!"

"No." I say.

"Please." She buries her head in her hand. "Just let me get it over with! I hate my life! Nobody cares! It's never going to get better! I just want to be happy again! I want to be me! I want to be me again!"

"Katniss, put the pills and the knife down. Let me see them."

"NO!" she screams on the top of her lungs. "LET ME DIE!"

"No!" I pull the pills and the knife from her hand and throw them out the open door. "You don't want to die! You aren't invisible! I care Katniss! Killing yourself won't make you happy again! I can make you happy again! I'll protect you, I swear!"

"And I will." Finn walks in.

"And me." Johanna walks in.

"And me." Annie walks in, too.

Marvel walks in and says, "Same."

"YOU GUYS DON'T UNDERSTAND!"

"I understand!" Johanna insists. "I was bulled by the same bitch all through middle school! Annie saved my damn life when I was going to do exactly what you are trying to do!" Johanna says.

"She bullied me all through elementary." Annie says.

"And I was bullied in elementary and middle, Katniss, I know how it feels. You aren't invisible." I add.

"Kitty," Finn says. "Glimmer's a fucking dumbass. Don't listen to her! Please don't leave me! You're my little sissy!"

"I won't ever be happy again."

"That's not true." Marvel says. "All of us are examples. It gets better." He says.

She keeps crying in silence for a little while. "Don't let me kill myself." She whimpers.

Finn picks her up. "I don't plan on it. Let's go home."

….a….

"I don't know if school is a good idea." Dad argues with everyone, who I suppose I can now call my friends.

"She needs to go," Johanna says. "Trust me. Glimmer wants her to stay home. She needs to get better, and the only way she can get better is to stand up to Glimmer. We'll protect her."

"Alright," Dad agrees. "The school has been notified of what happened. How it happened, too, and I'm sure they'll have an eye on that girl." Dad pauses. "I am trusting you guys with my only daughter's life. Don't break my trust." He walks out.

Johanna turns to me. "Step one of getting better." She opens my drawer and gets out a bra, underwear, my camo skinny jeans and a black tight tank top. In the summers, we don't really have a dress code; we just have to have on something so we aren't in our bra and underwear. Technically that's how it is year round. She grabs me some black vans and no show socks. "That is your outfit for tomorrow. No hoodie."

I about to protest but she cuts me off and says, "No. The hoodie is a bullying target." She pauses. "You are not using a braid." She adds. "You can use it every now and then for a hairstyle, but don't' use the same thing every day because that's boring and it's highly frowned upon." She thinks for a second. "Step two, stop ignoring her. Yesterday when you told her off for calling you fat, she had no comeback. Don't bully her, because that makes you the worse person, just thank her."

"Thank her?" I ask weakly.

"Yes. Annie, let's demonstrate. Katniss, I am you."

"You're a skank." Annie says to Johanna.

Johanna looks at right in the eyes, smiles and says, "Thank you."

"That's all I have to do?"

"Yes, because she won't have anything to say."

I nod.

"Step three," she adds. "No more cutting. If you cut, you'll just feel worse and it's a recipe for disaster."

"That's going to be hard."

"No it won't." Dad says. "I put a lock on the silver wear drawer downstairs and only Finnick and I will know the code. If you need a knife, you will be watched with it by someone of age." Dad looks at Finnick. "Got that sport?"

"Yeah," Finn says.

"What about the blade in my bathroom?"

Dad looks at me.

"Oh, I stole that." Peeta says.

We all look at him. "What?" I ask.

"On Friday when you were sleeping I snuck in here and stole the blade. You'll never see it again."

"Okay." Dad says.

"Step four, and this is probably the hardest one." She hesitates. "Without the hoodie, guys are going to look at you. You'll get complimented. Don't just blush and ignore. You need to accept them or you'll look like a nerd." She pauses and grabs my glasses off my bedside table. "You can take these with you, but if you have contacts, don't wear them."

I nod.

"And your grades, well, they're dumbasses for making fun of you because you have straight A's." she pauses. "And try, if you can, to talk. Like…if you know the answer to the question in class, answer it. If someone starts talking to you, reply. If you see one of us or someone you know, like that Madge chick that almost ran you over, wave. Don't be shy. You are your own individual person. Don't let someone define you." She sighs. "Next…and I doubt you'll be allowed to do this, but try and get tatted."

"What?" I ask.

"After I got better, I talked my parents into letting me get a tattoo to remind me that I'm not worth shit. I would just keep getting Henna's."

"Um…okay. I'll get a Henna. I don't really want a tattoo."

"And the last thing," she pauses. "Smile, always smile at people. You even smile and wave at Glimmer in the hallway because you are just that much of a badass." She pauses. "I think that's all. If I think of something else, I'll let you know."

"You kids are welcome to stay the night if you please." Dad says.

"I'll take you to get the henna after school tomorrow if you want me to." Peeta says. "And I'll stay the night then." Peeta never needs to ask to stay the night on school nights because Dad is so close with Peeta's parents that they just know when he doesn't come home, it's because he's here.

"Alright," I reply to Johanna.

"Wait, what is this henna you speak of?" Dad asks.

"It's like a tattoo, but it only lasts for two weeks or a month." Johanna says. "Oh yeah," Jo says. "Always, and I mean _always_ tell yourself the exact opposite of what Glimmer says. If she called you a skank or something tell yourself you've never had sex, if she calls you ugly, tell yourself you are beautiful."

"Is that all?"

"Yes. Now let's go to bed. Tomorrow is going to be a big day."


	6. Chapter 6

I get up early to take a shower. When I get out, I curl my hair and dress in the clothes Johanna laid out for me, put in my contacts and go downstairs. Everyone is down there already, eating breakfast. Dad didn't bother make me eggs and bacon because he knows I stick to my fruit. I get my smoothie and eat my fruit.

"Brainless, you can walk in heels right?" Johanna asks. I look at her. "Yeah, I've decided I want to call you Brainless. You can walk in heels?"

"Yes."

"Good, put these on instead of the vans." She hands me some wedges. I put them on and finish my breakfast. She switched my backpacks last night, too. It's just a white Jan Sport one. I go upstairs and brush my teeth after cleaning up my mess.

"Alright, ready to go?" Peeta asks after I pack my lunch.

"Yeah…"

"Don't be nervous. You are beautiful, remember that." Johanna says. "Now let's go."

…a…

"Keep your head high. When you catch people looking at you, smile and wave, got it?" Jo asks. I nod. We walk into the building. Glimmer is of course standing right there.

She looks at me and sighs irritably. "My plan didn't work. Why the hell are you still alive?"

"Because I haven't died yet," I reply.

She stares at me. "Why the fuck are you talking to me?"

"Because you asked me a question…" I reply, and I pretend to sound confused.

"Why the fuck are you talking back to me?"

"Because that's how conversation works. You see, when someone speaks to someone else, you are supposed to reply. See?" I nudge Peeta. "Hey, what's up?" there wasn't a single trace of rudeness in my voice.

"Nothing…" he looks like he's trying not to laugh.

I look back at Glimmer and smile. "You'll learn with due time hon," I pat her arm and walk off to my locker. My groups of friends follow me.

"Holy fuck," Johanna whispers. "I didn't even do that good on my first try."

"Hey Peeta," Glimmer walks over to us, and I see her glare at me. "You're really sexy." She grabs his arm. "Do you want to be my new boyfriend?"

Peeta's eyebrows rise up into his hairline, and I clench my jaw. I don't know why, but I'm pissed she just asked Peeta out. "Um thanks Glimmer, but no. You see, I already have my eye on another girl."

"Oh." She looks angry. "Okay." She walks away.  
"What other girl Peet?" Finn asks. "Why the fuck haven't I met her?"

"You have met her. You met before I did."

"Have we all met her?" I blurt, but I don't turn around. Johanna snickers under her breath and mutters something about how she so knew it.

"Yes. All of you know her." He says.

"Well what does she look like? I want to see her." I turn to face him, and my eyes are probably dark and angry.

He looks like she's going to laugh. "I'll give you two hits, but you probably won't figure it out." He shakes his head.

"I'll do my best." I put my hands on my hips.

Everyone is holding their breath. "She lives with Finnick and she's standing at her locker staring right at me."

**I know that was a bit shorter than usual but I had to cut it off there. **

**Can you guys review? I want to know what you think. **


	7. Chapter 7

My eyes get all wide and I feel my cheeks get very hot and I know I'm bright red.

Shit, I need to say something. "Well I've never met her." I spin around to face my locker. Johanna snickers.

"Oh, I'm sure you have." He says. "You probably know her even better than all of us do. You know, she's on the cheerleading team, she's a level ten in gymnastics, her middle name is Joy and her dad is Haymitch."

"I'm telling you right now, I have never met her."

"Okay, well, do you want me to show you a picture of her?" he asks.

"Fine." I get the rest of my stuff from my locker. "Then I can tell her I'm jealous." he raises his eyebrows.

"And why would you be jealous?" he asks.

"I would be jealous because my crush has the hots for her."

"So you're saying you have a crush on me?" he asks.

"Just show me what she looks like." I slam my locker.

"Okay." He takes out his phone and takes a picture of me. Then he hands me his phone. "That's her."

"She looks a little bit familiar, but I still don't know her." Johanna moves out of the way and all of them are whispering about how we better kiss. He comes up behind me and rests his chin on my shoulder and puts his arms around my waist, plucking his phone from my hands and clicking to the camera.

"Now do you know her?"

"No." I lie.

He sighs and takes Annie's hand mirror and spins me to face him, using the mirror to show me my own face. "_Now_ do you know her?"

"Maybe a little bit. I mean, she looks familiar, but I've never really met her.

My eyes get all wide and I feel my cheeks get very hot and I know I'm bright red.

Shit, I need to say something. "Well I've never met her." I spin around to face my locker. Johanna snickers.

"Oh, I'm sure you have." He says. "You probably know her even better than all of us do. You know, she's on the cheerleading team, she's a level ten in gymnastics, her middle name is Joy and her dad is Haymitch."

"I'm telling you right now, I have never met her."

"Okay, well, do you want me to show you a picture of her?" he asks.

"Fine." I get the rest of my stuff from my locker. "Then I can tell her I'm jealous." he raises his eyebrows.

"And why would you be jealous?" he asks.

"I would be jealous because my crush has the hots for her."

"So you're saying you have a crush on me?" he asks.

"Just show me what she looks like." I slam my locker.

"Okay." He takes out his phone and takes a picture of me. Then he hands me his phone. "That's her."

"She looks a little bit familiar, but I still don't know her." Johanna moves out of the way and all of them are whispering about how we better kiss. He comes up behind me and rests his chin on my shoulder and puts his arms around my waist, plucking his phone from my hands and clicking to the camera.

"Now do you know her?"

"No." I lie.

He sighs and takes Annie's hand mirror and spins me to face him, using the mirror to show me my own face. "Now do you know her?"

"Maybe a little bit. I mean, she looks familiar, but I've never really met her." He kisses my cheek with the mirror still on us.

"Now do you know her?"

I giggle. "Nope."

He hands Annie back the mirror and leans in and kisses my right ok the lips. I shut my eyes without meaning to right when they collide and start kissing him back. It's not a very long kiss. He pulls away. "Now do you know?"

I smile. "Oh yeah, Katniss Everdeen, right?"

He smiles. "Right."

The tardy bell rings. "I have to go." I say.

"Remember everything I told you!" Johanna says.

"Okay bye." I pick my bag up and walk into first period. Every person I catch staring at me, I smile and wave. The guys are looking at me like I'm a piece of meat.

"Whoa, babe," one of the most popular people sit down next to me. "You are so fucking sexy."

"Um...thank you." I reply.

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He asks.

"Um..."

It feels wrong of me to say yes when I like Peeta and we just kissed. "No. Sorry though, but I kind of have this thing for someone else."

"Oh, alright girly, I get it." He pats my shoulder. "I'm Gale by the way, Gale Hawthorne."

I laugh softly. "I know who you are."

"And I know who you are." He smiles and goes back to his seat. Madge sits down next to me and nudges my arm. I look at her and her eyes are laced with concern.

"Are you okay?" She whispers.

"Yes." I whisper back.

"Okay, good. Listen, we have a championship coming up and Clove wants you there tonight because you need to help stop the kids." Clove is our instructor and she is also my boss.

I sigh. "Alright. What time?"

"Right after school." She says. "I can drive you if you'd like."

"Right after school?" I repeat. I already have plans with Peeta and I don't want to break them. "I already have plans after school. I guess I can break them...I'll get someone to drop me off..."

"Are you sure you don't want me to just take you?"

"No, no it's fine." I wave her off. Honestly, I rode with Madge before and she is a terrible driver. She stalls all the time because her car is a manual and she does terrible with pressing the break and she jerks the car. I get car sick by the time I get to the gym. Doing gymnastics all nauseous is not a good idea.

.. ..

The next four periods fly past, and every time I see anyone I know in the hall, I smile and wave. Glimmer shoves me into a locker one time on the way to lunch, but some hot guy that I know she has eyes for tells her to stop being such a bitch and knock it off and then she runs off to the bathroom. I look at the guy. "Thanks."

He nods. "I would kiss you right now, but I saw Mellark kiss you, and I'm not willing to press into his territory."

"Um, okay," I walk into the lunch room. My friends are looking around and then Annie elbows Johanna and nods at me. I walk over to them and toss my bag on the table. "I have been asked out and hit on and told people want to kiss me way too many times today."

"Really?" Peeta asks. Someone taps my shoulder and when I turn around, I see Glimmer.

She slaps me.

Should I slap her back?

It didn't really hurt to be completely honest. "Remember what your Mom always told you." Finn whispers. Be the better person.

"Was that supposed to hurt?" I ask. She takes a step closer to me. She wants to fight me. "Go ahead. Do it. I'll kick your ass if it comes down to it."

She looks at my bicep and then huffs and stomps away.

I turn back around. "I don't know why she hates me so much."

"Let's not talk about that." Annie says.

"Are we still getting the henna after school?" Peeta asks.

"Um...about that..." I bite my lip. "I have to go to the gym."

"You have to or you want to?" Finn asks.

"I have to, for work."

"Oh." Peeta says. "I'll drop you off."

"Are you sure?"

Johanna looks like she's getting an idea. "Well we are all in Peeta's car. How about we stay to watch?"

"Yeah." Peeta looks at me. "We are going to stay to watch."

"I'm going to be spotting the kids. Probably I'll have to show them some stuff...but other than that..." I bite my lip.

"Well we can stay after the kids leave." Annie insists.

I let out a long breath. "Fine. Don't embarrass me. If I laugh in the middle of doing something I could mess and get really, really hurt."

...8...

I walk into the gym and my friends follow me. Clove looks at me and then at the kids, "Oh thank god you're here Katniss. Go get changed before I pull all my hair out!"

I toss my bag on the floor and walk into the locker rooms and change into my red leotard. I go back out the bend over and put my hair up in a bun, put the chalk on my hands and then look at my friends. "Remember what I told you."

They all nod excitedly and then I walk over next to Clove.

We stand there and just watch the kids try and fail to do a handstand. It's depressing they can't do a handstand. They are very young though, three or four years old.

"I heard about what happened to you last night." Clove whispers. "I knew you weren't acting yourself when you started high school." She sighs. "Just…don't let the girl get to you, okay? She's wrong, okay?"

"Yeah, I've got my idiots over there telling me that." I point at my friends and my brother.

"Ah, they're here to see you do some stuff?" she asks.

"Yeah, but I told them that I'm going be helping the kids, so they probably won't see anything."

"Oh, they'll see you in action." She smirks. "Go ahead and stretch."

"Oh god, what are you going do to me?"

"I'm going to make sure you do the hardest in the book so your friends can see you. Now stretch. The girls will enjoy this." I bend over and touch my toes and I stretch my hands and my back and my legs and basically every part of my body.

"Put more chalk." She says. I put more chalk on my hands, and then I turn to her. "Bars," she orders. "Alright girls!" she calls, "How about we watch a level ten?" the girls all look excited. She turns to my friends. "If you want, you can come over to watch, so you can see well."

They jump on the chance, kick their shoes off and go running across the gym. I walk over to the beam and get on. "What do you want me to do?" I ask. She thinks for a moment.

"Let's start off easy." She says. "Do a handspring swing down." I down a simple handspring, and land elegantly on my crotch, and then I swing down my legs and look at Clove.

"You watch the gymnastics Olympics, right, Katniss?" Clove asks.

"Yeah,"

"And you memorized Gabby's routine?" Gabby Douglas was in the Olympics and she was my favorite.

"Um…are you going to seriously make me do it?"

"Yes." I hop off the beam, and get on the way she did, and then I do the whole routine and get off with three handsprings across the bar and a double pike. Everyone is cheering.

"Alright," Clove says. "Next we do floor."

I walk to the floor and do Gabby's routine, which I memorized. I do the same on the vault and the uneven bars.


	8. Chapter 8

I'm at the gym again, on Wednesday. I walked this time. I just got back from cheerleading practice because we have a football game on Friday.

"Katniss, Madge, we need to talk." Clove says. We follow her over to the beams. "Next Friday we have a competition. It's at a high school. It isn't really far from here. It's two level ten's around the country. You two are representing Maine, and then there will be two people from each state attending."

"What high school?" I ask.

"Andover High School." She says.

"Fuck," I mutter. "And it's during the school day?"

"Yes. The students will be attending, and the parents of the competitors, and there will be judges and all of that. The football field will be renovated, and it's supposed to be chilly, so I recommend you wear a long sleeve leotard. Now, you girls need to be there every day after your cheerleading practice. We need to make sure you are star material. You will be excused from school next Thursday. I've already spoken to your parents."

…a...

My whole body aches as I walk home on Friday. Peeta, Marvel, Johanna, Annie and Finn are spending the night at my house. After the football game, which ended at ten, I went to the gym and I was there with Madge and Clove until three in the morning. Now I'm walking home.

Every step I take hurts, but I suck up the pain and walk into the house. "How was practice?" Dad asks. He always stays up when I'm going to be out late. My whole family is attending this event, and my friends are still awake.

"Exhausting," I walk into the kitchen and get some water, and wash the chalk off of my hands.

"Are you excited though?" Finn asks.

"Yeah, I suppose." I get an ice pack and lie down on the couch and ice my thighs.

"Do you have your routine memorized?" Peeta asks.

"Yeah."

"That's good."

I yawn. "Yeah." And then I fall asleep.

….a….

I actually stayed the night at the gym on Saturday and I was there all week. Now it's Friday.

I'm so nervous. I'm in my leotard that Dad bought me for my competition. It's red, and it looks like fire when I move. I have on a jacket that says _Maine_ and matching pants, and Nikes. All of us, the competitors, are in the locker rooms. I can hear everyone screaming outside, because that's where this is at. The students weren't really required to come to school today, and they're not going to get marked absent, but they get in free to see the competition, so everyone is here. I have my bag that comes out with me, that has my inhaler and three water bottles.

"Alright girls! It's show time!"

We get in a huge line, me in front and Madge behind me, because we are in our state so we go first.

We walk in a straight line out to the football field, which has been completely renovated.

Vaults are first. There are one hundred of us competing, and they introduce our names and we all have to wave and smile and turn in a circle. I take off my sweats and my jacket that I need, and I'm shocked at how cold it really is. I cover my hands in the chalk that someone hands to me, and then I pass it back to Madge. They have us get in the line, and they do the introducing and we do the turning and waving and smiling. I notice though, and I can't help it, but the screams for Madge and I are _much_ louder than they are for any of the other girls.

Maine competes last though, so Madge and I sit and watch the girls on the vaults.

No offense to them, but for level tens, they suck. People mess up, and one girl from Utah lands on her head and gets rushed to the hospital.

I'm thinking about how everyone is messing up and I need to do perfect, that I don't hear my name called until Madge elbows me in the ribs. I look up in confusion. She stands up and gives me a hug. "Good luck."

I stand at the front of the path to the vault. The cameras are zoomed in on me and they're going over my history of gymnastics. Someone tells me to begin. I look at Clove to see if there are any last minute pointers. She just gives me a thumbs up.

I take a deep breath and shut my eyes, and the stadium is silent. We get to go on the vault two times, that's how it is. My hair is up in a bun, out of the way.

I take another deep breath and break into a run, but I'm off to the side, and I realize too late, because my left hand lands on the vault, but my right hand slips, and I completely fuck up, and when I land, I fall, because my ankle twists, and it hurts like a motherfucker. The audience gasps, and I hear the announcers talking in the microphone about how I am going to get points deducted for that. Then they go on talking about how I'm not getting up and how I'm injured.

Then I hear a familiar scream. "KATNISS GET UP!"

Johanna? I look up, and I see all my friends and family pleading with me to _get up_. Peeta's family even came today.

I'm not going to give up. I won't give anyone the satisfactions of seeing me just give_ up_.

Especially not Glimmer, because she's here.

Madge and Clove are watching me and I think they're thinking about getting me to the hospital, but I force myself to get up.

I didn't break it, I know that I didn't, but it's going to be tough for me to finish. Everyone is leaning forward in their seats to see what I'm going to do, but I ignore the pain and walk to the podium, about 76 feet away from the vault.

They don't tell me to start the second time around. I look at Cove again and she makes a notion to straight myself before I start to run. I do as she says and look at her. She just nods and gives me a thumb up.

"OH COME ON KITTY KICK ASS!" Finn screams and I feel my confidence rise. I start to run at full speed, and block out everyone. I do a round off back hand spring, and the when I'm in the air, I twist three times. I land it without losing my footing, and I put my hands in the air like how you do after you a trick, and I walk off the mat and drop down next to Madge. Clove gives me a hug.

"Did you break it?"

"No, I twisted it, but it's fine. The pain is going away. I'll be fine."

Madge goes, and she does perfectly both times, and sits down next to me. I think it was nerves that messed me up, because this is televised, and I'm representing the entire state of Maine.

But I need to make sure I'm not nervous. I ice down my ankle as I wait, with my head down and my hands holding my head up, because I'm freaking out.

I have no reason to be nervous, I'm going to do fine. I'll be fine.

I keep telling myself this, and then I feel Madge tap me. "Floors. You're up." I look up.

"Are you going to be able to do this?" Clove asks.

"I'm not going to quit." I hand her the ice pack and walk over to the floor, adding more chalk to my hands and wiping off my forehead with my arm. Where I am standing, I am right in front of my family. "Come Sweetheart! Make me proud!" Dad cheers and I almost laugh. I break into a run and complete my routine.

...a….

Some girl from Florida won the god for vault, and me…well…I won the gold for beam, bars _and_ floor.

Clove is freaking out. She keeps kissing my cheeks. I put my pants and jacket back on. The competition is over and I'm just exhausted. All I want is to go home and just sleep, but I know my friends and family have other plans.

I accept all the thanks and shit and walk off the field.

"KATNISS! KATNISS!" they come running and screaming. Finn lifts me up onto his shoulders and they insist we go out to dinner and a movie and then dessert.

This is going to be a wild night.


	9. Chapter 9

It's three in the morning when we all get home. Everyone is spending the night but Peeta's parents.

The problem with me is I'm claustrophobic, so having all of these people in my house at one time is way too much.

I haven't been to my hideout in almost two weeks. I pack my bag to stay the night and climb out the window. I leave it open, with the curtains blowing in the wind. I land on the trampoline and run off through the forest. I get my extension cord and plug it in and the run back to my clubhouse. Tomorrow, I need to move this somewhere else, because my family know where it is now, which means they'll come bother me. I need to sneak out tomorrow morning to go get my fruit, and I need to go to the bank to cash the three thousand dollars I got for my gold metals. You get a thousand for each metal. I might actually use my three thousand to get a car from a car lot or something. I lie down in my full size bed and stare at the ceiling. I switch my fan to heat.

Someone walks into my little hideout.

It's Peeta. I sit up and he shuts the door and sits down in front of me. "Are you okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, sometimes I just…need to get away, you know?"

"Yeah." He pauses. "It gets lonely though, being alone all the time."

"Yeah, but…" I shrug. "I'm not alone all the time anymore."

"Are you staying the night out here?"

"I planned on it."

"Well then I'm staying with you." He locks my front door and sits back down. I scoot closer to the wall and pat the spot next to me. He hesitates, but lies down and rolls over to face me. I roll over to face him, and both of us are holding our heads up with our hands. We search one another's eyes for a while. "I've been meaning to ask you something." He whispers. "But I don't know if I'm going to ask you, because I'm a coward."

"You aren't a coward, Peeta, what makes you say that?" I ask.

"I just…" he shakes his head and rolls over so he's facing the ceiling. I changed my clothes into a loose t-shirt and short shorts. I reach over him and turn on the light. My hair is down and I don't have a bra on. "Something tells me that Glimmer is still getting to you." He sits up so I'm leaning against the wall, and he's facing me. "It's a little easier since people are nice to you, but Glimmer still gets to you, and that really bugs me."

I shrug and look down, because it's true.

"You aren't alone, Katniss. One day, and I swear on my life that this is true, but one day, all of this pain and agony...it's going to be gone like it never was really there in the first place." Peeta whispers. "Katniss," he takes a deep breath, "One day all of this pain is going to be invisible."

"Bullshit." I snap. "I don't believe you. I don't feel happy unless I'm doing gymnastics. Peeta, nobody gets it. Nobody can make me feel good about myself!"

"I can make you feel good…about yourself." Something in his tone tells me that he means two different things, and I think one of them is sexual.

"You are beautiful. You know that, right?" I don't answer him, and he looks like he's in pain. He tilts my chin up so our eyes lock. "Why don't you see you are beautiful?"

"Because I only see the truth." I mutter.

"No, no, you only see the lies."

I stare at him for a long time. "Why do you even _bother_ with me?"

"Because I have strong feelings for you, I always have."

I look down again. "I find that hard to believe. A guy as…" I bite my lip, "_attractive_ as you having feelings for me? Bullshit."

"I wouldn't be so sure." He kisses me. "I struggle to control myself around you." He whispers against my lips. "I don't want you to do something you don't want to do. I won't stop, because I can't control myself, but if you tell me to, I will."

I swallow. "What if you don't something you don't want to do?" I ask. He starts kissing down my jawline.

"That's impossible. The only thing I never want to do to you is hurt you. Other than that, there's nothing. I want to touch every single speck of your graceful skin. I love you. You know that, right?" he pulls away from my neck to look me in the eyes. His lips left beautiful burning marks on my skin, and I _never_ want them to go away.

"You love me?" I whisper.

"Yes. You don't have to say it back. You just needed to know."

I think I love him. I think about him in ways a friend wouldn't every day. I think about how his lips would feel against my most sensitive parts. I imagine running my hands up and down his chest.

I think I want him, and I know I love him. "I…" I bite my lip.

"Never mind." He says.

"I love you too." I whisper.

"You what?" he asks.

"I said I love you too. I do Peeta, really, I do."

He smiles and starts kissing me. I kiss him back, deepening it. My eyes slip shut and I scoot closer to him. We kiss wildly for a few minutes and I _really_ want to touch his chest. "Stop me if you want." He mumbles.

"What if I don't want?" I whisper breathlessly.

He pulls away. "Then you don't want." I'm sitting in his lap now, and my legs are locked around his waist. He's rock hard beneath me, and I'm sitting right on top of his groin. I shut my eyes when I feel how hot and good it feels. We start kissing again and my hands start tugging upwards on shirt. We pull away so he can pull it off. His hands are slipped beneath my shirt, roaming my back.

I realize right now, that I have just as much control as he does. He starts tugging on my shirt and I pull it off. I think he realizes just now that I'm not wearing a bra. His eyes get huge, and he stares at my chest, and then looks at me.

There is no way in hell I'm going to be the one that stops us.


	10. Chapter 10

We stopped us last night, right before we actually had sex, and he said this was fucked up we weren't dating. Then he asked me out.

I stir my smoothie with my straw. Peeta and I snuck back in at five this morning. I moved my clubhouse-hideout and took care of the money and it's in the bank, but I couldn't go back to sleep.

I _definitely_ took my birth control. I went to the fruit stand. Everyone is starting to wake up, but I'm just standing here, stirring my smoothie.

"Oh, you came home." Dad says. I look at him over my shoulder. "Where were you and Peeta last night?"

I need to lie. If he finds out we had sex, he's going to lose his mind just like how he did for Finnick. He and Annie had sex last year, and Dad took Annie out to dinner and sent her home crying.

"Um, I was in my hideout. I don't know where Peeta was." Everyone starts coming into the kitchen to help themselves to breakfast, and they're sitting at the table, the whole family and _all_ my friends. Dad's arms are crossed and so are mine, and we're having a stare down. I think everyone is a little bit suspicious of us.

"Really." Dad says. "I know you're probably telling the truth about you being in your little hideout, but I think you're lying about you not knowing where Peeta was." He crosses his arms. "I think he was with you."

I just glare at him and say, "What makes you say that?"

"Just a hunch." He narrows his eyes. "A guess…or maybe, it's that hickey on your shoulder." He sweeps my hair off my shoulder.

I look down at my shoulder, and back at my Dad.

"Don't try and play it off like it's a bruise." He says.

"I wasn't going to." I hiss.

"You don't need to be having sex." He says.

Oh, I'm going to throw it right back in his face. "Oh? I don't? Last time I checked, you were seventeen and Mom was sixteen when you got her pregnant with me. Oh, but I can't be having sex? That's hypocritical if you ask me."

His eyes flash in anger. "If you get pregnant-"

"I won't get pregnant." I hiss. "We're not stupid, you know!"

"Condoms don't always work."

"Yeah, you would know. I'm the perfect example of that right?"

"If you get pregnant, you're getting an abortion."

"Um, actually, no I'm not. I have over ten thousand dollars in savings. If I get pregnant and you decide to be a bitch about it, I'll just file for emancipation and move out."

"Dad you won't want to kill your grandchild." Finn says.

Dad looks at Peeta, who is just staring at his bowl. "Peeta, let's go for a walk."

Peeta looks up, and then stands up, puts his bowl away and follows my Dad out the door.

…a…

Dad grounded me when he got home and made everyone leave. I snuck out and stayed in my hideout until this morning. Since I moved it, nobody could find me, and I texted Peeta to paint the extension cord so it looked like the ground and I put it on his doorstep and he did it. It's Monday. Dad drove me to school today and told Finnick to make sure Peeta gets nowhere near me. Finn promised he would, but right when I get to school, I walk right over to Peeta and hug him.

Glimmer is watching us. She looks livid, and I remember that she asked Peeta out. He leans down and presses his lips to my cheek, and then whispers in my ear "I feel really bad for getting you in trouble."

I pull away to look him in the eye. "You didn't. Peeta, I don't regret it."

He smiles. "Me either."

…..a…..

Dad picks me and Finnick up. "So I've been talking with Peeta's family." Dad says when we get in the house. "You two are switching schools. Katniss, you and Peeta have broken up."

"What?" Finn asks.

"You guys heard me." He says.

"You broke us up?" I ask.

"Yes."

"What the fuck?" Finn asks. "You didn't' do that to Annie and I!"

"Well I'm doing it to Katniss and Peeta. I didn't do it to you and Annie because you guys had been in a relationship for a while."

I storm upstairs and slam the door and lock it, and then I start crying.

I get a text.

Peeta: _So…we're done? My Mom said that they broke us up, that your switching schools and your Dad is hiring someone to watch you and Finnick so you can't sneak out again. Ever._

I cry really hard.

Me: _I hate everything. I hate my life. I hate my Dad. I hate the whole fucking universe. When my Dad finds my body, I hope he'll feel like shit_.

I delete the messages as Dad comes in and blocks Peeta's number from my phone.

I glare at him through my tears.

I hate him.


	11. Chapter 11

I realize something. I'm lying in bed and its four thirty in the morning and sleep isn't coming to me.

And I realize that Peeta and I are just like Romeo and Juliet, with the forbidden romance.

And what did they plan to do?

They planned to run away together.

I get up and get a backpack, and I shove anything with meaning into it, and I pack all the stuff I need. Then I get out my phone and look at it for a while, and then I text Johanna, Annie and even Finn.

Me: _look, I know you guys are sleeping, and I know you know what happened, and I'm running away, with or without Peeta. _

I get a piece of paper and write a note.

_Dad, listen, I get your trying to 'protect me' but you're just making my depression worse by taking Peeta away from me. I'm not the same kid from first grade anymore. This time, I'm willing to do whatever it takes to get what I want, and what I want is Peeta. I love him, and since you won't accept us, I'm running away. Don't bother looking for me. If you get me back I will just leave again._

_Bye,_

_Katniss_

I leave my phone unlocked on my bed and I climb out the window. I sneak over to Peeta's window on the first floor, and after checking to make sure the coast was clear, I knock. He's awake, and he looks at me, and then he jumps up and opens the window. He has the only room in the house that doesn't have a screen. "Do you realize how much trouble we are going to get in if any one of my parents or your Dad sees you?" he whispers.

"I don't care. I'm running away. Are you coming, or are you staying?"

He stares at me for a long time, and then he grabs a bag and starts packing. He hands me his car keys. "Go get in the car. Be quiet or we'll get caught."

"Okay." I whisper.

"Wait." He says. I look up at him and he leans out of the window and kisses me. "I love you."

"I love you too." I whisper. I scurry off to get in his car.

My knee taps nervously for ten minutes before Peeta slips out the back door and gets in the car.

"What took so long?" I ask.

"I wrote a note." He starts the car and backs out. "Put your seatbelt on."

"Okay." I put it on. "We need to switch the license plates." I say.

"What?" he asks.

"The first thing the cops do when they're looking for people who have a car is search the license plate. We need to switch them with someone aside from our parents."

"Okay. I know where to go." He says. He drives off, and then we're pulling into Johanna's neighborhood. He hurriedly switches the license plates. "She won't even notice a difference." We go to the bank and I take out my 10,234 dollars, and he gets out his twenty thousand something.

"Where are we going to go?" I ask as we sit in the parking lot.

"I don't know." He runs his hands through his hair. "Anyone who is in our family will rat us out. We are underage so we can't get an apartment. Winter is coming so we can't get a tent or something or we'll probably die of frostbite."

"We could um…" I bite my lip. "We could file for emancipation."

"What's that?"

"You can move out before age eighteen if you have a good reason and you can show them you can support yourself."

He thinks really hard for a long time and then shakes his head. "No." he says. "I don't think that's a good idea."

We think in silence for a little while.

"I know this place." He decides. "It's in Iowa. My Aunt used to live there. It's this hotel. There's an outlet on the back wall and right behind it is just forest. We could get another shed thing and get the stuff from yours."

"Or we could stay the night in the forest and wait till tomorrow night to go and take mine."

He nods. "And we'll just…live in the forest until we turn eighteen? Then we come home, right? We come home and we will be able to stay together?"

"What if someone sees the cord?" I ask.

"I painted it hon, remember?"

"Right." I nod. "We need to hide. The sun is starting to come up and right when Dad notices we're gone, he's going to call the station. He always comes in to check on Finn and I before he goes to work. When he sees we aren't there he'll get the cops involved. Dad's probably checking on me now."

He nods and starts the car, and we drive down the street and deep into the forest under a ton of trees.

I put my seat back and he puts his back and we fall asleep.

...8...

Months pass, and we stay in the forest in Iowa. We are very happy together, and we're always kissing and smiling and laughing and we don't argue.

But one day, in late March, Peeta gets a phone call.

Only this time, through the fifty calls we've gotten, it's Peeta's parents. We always listen to the voicemail. Peeta puts it on speaker and we listen.

"Alright," Mr. Mellark says. "We fucked up."

Peeta and I lock eyes.

"You two...you guys are just...come home." Mrs. Mellark says.

"If you come home..." Dad takes a deep breath. "You guys can see each other."

I look at Peeta again. "You guys can be together. Katniss, Miranda came home." That's my step mom. "She misses you. Finnick is suffering. I've caught him crying, and he doesn't cry. Don't you miss gymnastics?"

Yes. I do. I miss everyone, but I'll miss Peeta more.

If we can be together, why can't we go home, right?

Right?

Peeta hangs up and looks at me. I look back at him. "Peeta..." I trail off. He stands up. "Let's hit the road."

**I might be putting this story on pause but I'm not sure yet. **


	12. Chapter 12

"Peeta," I hold onto his hand so tightly I'm afraid of cutting off circulation. "I'm scared." He kisses me.

"It's okay. We'll leave again if things so amiss, okay baby?"

I wipe away the tears and nod. "Okay. I love you."

"I love you too." Peeta leaves me on the side of the road and drives down to his own house. I walk up to the door and walk inside. Finnick is in the living room and he looks miserable. Miranda is on the couch and Dad is sitting next to her.

The door clicks shut behind me and all of them look at me.

"Kitty!" Finn screams.

They start freaking out. Dad doesn't even seem angry with me and Miranda starts gushing about how much I've grown up and Finn gets on the phone and calls Johanna and Annie. I wonder why he didn't call Marvel.

Dad gets on the phone with Peeta's parents and the next thing we know the Mellark's, Masons and Cresta's are coming over for dinner. Annie comes through the door sobbing hysterically and throwing herself into my arms. Johanna's laughing at her when she comes in. Then the Mellark's come and Finn starts beating the shit out of Peeta.

Jo hugs me and Peeta and then the questions start.

"Alright," dad crosses his arms. "You're not in trouble." He adds. "First of all, where did you guys go, because you couldn't have gotten a house or something or a hotel, and anyone you went to would have ratted you out?"

I look at Peeta and he looks back at me. "Well we went to Iowa."

"Iowa? We had the worst winter. How did you survive it?"

I cover my mouth with my hand to keep from laughing. "Well...you know my hideout?"

"Yes." Dad says.

"We took it, and we had this building with the forest right behind it and the extension cord and we plugged the extension cord into the back of the building and we put the clubhouse in the forest and stayed there. We got foods that don't require cooking and we had my fan which has a heater." I shrug.

"You two are much smart than you are given credit for." Mrs. Mellark appraises.

I grin. I want to go to the gym so desperately. "Alright Katniss," Dad says. "Clove said that when you came home, if you came home, you could have your job back. I know you are absolutely dying to go to the gym. Dinner isn't for about three hours. Do you want me to drop you off and come pick you up for dinner?"

"Please?" I ask.

"Yes. Go and get dressed."

I run upstairs and strip naked, shower and then put on a white leotard and a pair of shorts and flip flops and I lie on my bed and just stare at the ceiling for a second, and then I accidentally end up falling asleep.

PEETA'S POV

I didn't expect everyone to be this happy about us coming home. Kat has been up in her room for a half hour.

"She hasn't been acting...depressed?" Haymitch asks.

"Not even a little bit." I reply.

"Then what is taking her so long?" He asks. "I hope she isn't cutting again."

"I'll go see what's up." Johanna walks upstairs. Less than a minute later she comes back down. "She took a shower, put on her leotard, her shorts and her flip flops and then fell asleep."

"She's going to be upset if she doesn't get to go to the gym." Haymitch disappears upstairs and comes back down with Katniss.

...8...

KATNISS'S POV

I'm sitting in my bedroom alone and I get this idea. I get out a fine point sharpie.

I know Peeta gets doubts on whether or not he loves me. I put lotion on my hands because the chalk is drying them out.

I'm going to give him a ton of long letters. There will be at least twenty of them.

I start the first one.

_I_ _have to tell you something..._

_Do you remember that day? Our first time? Remember you told me you loved me? You know what I realized? I can't go a day without thinking about you. I love you. _

I put it in an in envelope and write:

_Open when..._

_You need to know how much I love you _

I seal it and start the next one.

I start getting more creative. They're terrible at first, but then I get to the last two three.

_When I see your eyes, my stomach does a happy flip. _

_When I see you smile, my stomach does a happy flip. _

_When I hear you laugh, my stomach does a happy flip. _

_When I see you cry, my stomach does a sad flip. _

_When I see you in pain, it's like a stab in the chest. _

_I love you _

I write the next one.

_You have the most adorable eyes I could ever fall for and the cutest smile that takes my breath away. You have the ability to make me laugh every time you speak and whenever you look in my eyes it's hard to look away. _

The next one takes a really long time to write, and this one is by far my favorite.

_1.] I need to tell you a secret. Look at 5. _

_2.] The answer is look at 11. _

_3.] Don't get mad look at 15. _

_4.] Calm down don't be mad look at 13. _

_5.] First look at 2. _

_6.] Don't be that angry look at 12. _

_7.] I just wanted to say I love you. _

_8.] What I wanted to tell you is THE ANSWER IS ON 14_

_9.] Be patient look at 4. _

_10.] This time is the last time I am going to do this look at 7. _

_11.] I hope you're not mad when I say look at 6. _

_12.] Sorry look at 8. _

_13.] Don't get mad look at 10. _

_14.] I don't know how to say this...look at 3. :D _

_15.] You must be really mad look at number 9. _

I seal the envelope with the letter.

Should I really give these to him?

I don't know. I feel nervous.

I leave them all seal on my desk and fall asleep.

...9...

I wake with a start by the creaking floorboards of my room. I sit up quickly, and let out a sigh of relief when I see it's only Peeta. "Sorry..." He bites his lip. "What are those?" He points to the envelopes on my desk.

PEETA'S POV

She looks at me and mumbles something and rolls over and I can tell by her breathing that she's asleep. I sit down next to her and wake her.

"Go away Peeta." She mumbles.

I frown. "What are the envelopes for?" I ask.

"They're yours now leave me alone! God, you are so fucking annoying!" She shouts at me.

"Geez, sorry." I get up and take the envelopes. I just wanted to come in and tell her I loved her, but I saw the envelopes and she was awake anyways so I asked.

I didn't realize that was a crime...

KATNISS'S POV

Dad is at work when I get up. Miranda is on the couch and Finn is out somewhere with Annie.

I run my fingers through my hair and sigh. I had a terrible dream.

Miranda looks at me. "Morning sleepy head." She smiles.

"Hi." I mutter. I raid the kitchen and settle with some coffee because we don't have fruit and I'm too lazy to go get some.

"What's wrong?" Miranda asks. "You look upset."

"I just had a bad dream and it's messing with my head."

"What happened?" She asks.

"Well I made these things for Peeta last night and I left them on my desk. He came over in my dream and was asking what they were for. I just got pissed and yelled at him to leave and he was annoying."

She stares at me for a moment. "Honey, that wasn't a dream. Peeta came over this morning to tell you something and you yelled at him. That was real."

I look at her. "I really yelled at him?" I ask. I've never done that before, not once ever.

"Yes." She says. I out my coffee down.

"Well I need to go apologize!"

"Maybe you should put a bra on first."

"No, I need to apologize right now!" I run out of he house, practically still sleeping and ring the doorbell. Peeta's brother looks at me and smirks. "You didn't even get dressed yet?"

"I need to talk to Peeta." I insist. He steps aside. "He's in his room."

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do." Mrs. Mellark warns after giving me a hug. I nod at her and walk down the hall to Peeta's room. I think about knocking but decide against it because I've seen every inch of him anyways. I walk in. He's staring at the ceiling.

"Rye I told you to stop asking what was wrong." Peeta snaps.

I stare at him for a moment. The envelopes are on the desk and he didn't open any of them. He isn't really supposed to yet anyways, until he needs to know I love him.

"Um..." I bite my lip. He looks at me and then sits up, and when our eyes lock, my stomach does a flip. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry! I was so out of it I thought it was a dream! Miranda told me it was real and I ran right over here. Peeta I'm so sorry. Please forgive me?"

He chuckles and stands up and opens his arms.

"You're so cute when you're worried." I walk into them, and I was freaking out so badly I am almost crying.

"I thought you hated me." I whisper.

"No. I was thinking about it, and you always get moody when someone wakes you up."

"Yeah I do. Okay, I'm going home. I just woke up like five minutes ago."

"Okay. I'll stop by later, okay?"

"Okay."

"I love you."

He smiles. "I love you too."

...8...

I'm scared.

We start school again.

Finn said Glimmer is a completely different person. He didn't give me the details but I didn't wait for them. It was ten thirty at night and I walked down to Peeta's house because I was flipping out. His parents talked Haymitch into letting me stay the night as long as we slept on the couch.

Now we're sitting in the school parking lot.

"It'll be okay." Peeta whispers.

"She won't do anything to you." Finn says. "You just wait." He gets out and even through the closed car, I hear him shout as he walks into the school "KITTY AND PEETA ARE BACK!" I force myself to get out of the car. I wear a blue ruffled crop top that crosses in the back and a white skintight skirt and wedges. Peeta talked me into the skirt because he said I have a nice ass and I need to show it off. He slings his arms around my shoulder. "Don't be nervous, okay? If she says anything I'll go at her, okay?"

"Okay." I mumble.

We walk inside the building. There's a whole group of people with Glimmer.

She and I lock eyes and I'm expecting something hateful to leave her mouth. "Katniss." She smiles. "How are you dear? Goodness, you are just so pretty!" She hugs me. My mouth is set straight and my eyebrows are raised and I'm just staring at her.

Peeta leans over and whispers, "I believe the correct response is thank you."

But I can't speak. It's like I'm broken.

Glimmer takes my hands. "Listen darling, everything I said about you was wrong, okay? Don't listen to any of it, okay? I'm sorry, okay?"

"Um...okay."

She looks at Peeta. "Hi." She smiles. "You are still so cute, but you aren't mine, and I respect that." She walks away.

What the fuck happened?

...8...

"Okay guys, today's songs are about bullying."

I look at Finn in confusion. "We sing at lunches now. Glimmer picks the theme and that's what we sing about."

"The whole lunchroom sings?" I ask.

"No, just the people who want to. Although...when people don't go sing, Glimmer picks. She always picks the people she bullied because she feels bad and she forces everyone to feign happiness."

"The theme is bullying." Annie reminds me.

"You should sing." Jo says.

"I don't sing."

"Bull." Peeta says. "I've lived with you for the past six months. You can sing."

"No I can't." I insist.

He stands up. "Katniss wants to sing!"

"What? No I don't!"

"Oh come on darling, it's okay if you can't sing. We support you!"

I sigh.

"You have to go up to the mini stage." Finn whispers.

"I'm going to get you back for this!" I hiss to Peeta. He rolls his eyes and I walk to the stage.

_Wait, what was the theme? _

"What am I supposed to do?" I ask.

"Just sing a song about bullying." Glimmer says.

"Peeta wants to sing next." I blurt.

"Okay, that's wonderful!" Glimmer says. I look at Peeta and smile sweetly. I don't even know what I'm going to sing.

I think for a moment and then it clicks.

_Do you ever go to lunch with no one by your side_

_Cause the moment you arrive they all leave the table_

_Calling me everything but my name_

_Need I remind you again just call me Katniss_

_How would you feel if you running home crying_

_Lock yourself in your room, don't want anyone to see ya_

_While everyone's having fun outside, and you're telling yourself_

_I won't let it get to me no more_

_I don't wanna feel this way_

_I can't believe I let it go so far_

_No no, it's not okay_

_What do you know about me?_

_Do you wanna know what I think?_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_I'm a just comb you outta my curls_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_You no longer run my world_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_I'm a just comb you outta my curls_

_How would you feel every time you go to school_

_Someone's looking at you weird calling you a loser_

_All these girls wearing bubble-gum pink_

_Guess I didn't get the memo_

_Cause they're laughing at my blue shirt_

_Well I hope you feeling good about you treating someone you know like a perfect stranger_

_Cause it's easier than standing by my side_

_Ohhh_

_I won't let it get to me no more_

_I don't wanna feel this way_

_I can't believe I let it go so far_

_No no, it's not okay_

_What do you know about me?_

_Do you wanna know what I think?_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_I'm a just comb you outta my curls_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_You no longer run my world_

_Who do you think you are_

_Loud mouth, cafeteria star_

_Maybe somebody was cruel to you_

_So you think that's what you're supposed to do_

_One day, it might be you_

_When you need a friend, but you no longer cool_

_When everyone leaves when you walk in the room_

_I just hope they forgive you_

_I won't let it get to me no more_

_I don't wanna feel this way_

_I can't believe I let it go so far_

_No no, it's not okay_

_What do you know about me?_

_Do you wanna know what I think?_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_I'm a just comb you outta my curls_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_You no longer run my world_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_I'm a just comb you outta my curls_

_Mean girls, mean girls_

_You no longer run my world _

Everyone cheers and I go back to my seat. Peeta kisses my cheek and gets up and walks to the stage.

Something tells me he wrote this song about me.

It's called invisible. **(It's actually invisible by Hunter Hayes and then mean girls is by Rachel Crow.) **

_Crowded hallways are the loneliest places_

_For outcasts and rebels_

_Or anyone who just dares to be different_

_And you've been trying for so long_

_To find out where your place is_

_But in their narrow minds_

_There's no room for anyone who dares to do something different_

_Oh, but listen for a minute_

_Trust the one_

_Who's been where you are wishing all it was_

_Was sticks and stones_

_Those words cut deep but they don't mean you're all alone_

_And you're not invisible_

_Hear me out,_

_There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now_

_Someday you'll look back on all these days_

_And all this pain is gonna be invisible_

_Oh, invisible_

_So your confidence is quiet_

_To them quiet looks like weakness_

_But you don't have to fight it_

_'Cause you're strong enough to win without a war_

_Every heart has a rhythm_

_Let yours beat out so loudly_

_That everyone can hear it_

_Yeah, I promise you don't need to hide it anymore_

_Oh, and never be afraid of doing something different_

_Dare to be something more_

_Trust the one_

_Who's been where you are wishing all it was_

_Was sticks and stones_

_Yeah, the words cut deep but they don't mean you're all alone_

_And you're not invisible_

_Hear me out,_

_There's so much more of this life than what you're feeling now_

_And someday you'll look back on all these days_

_And all this pain is gonna be invisible_

_These labels that they give you_

_just 'cause they don't understand_

_If you look past this moment_

_You'll see you've got a friend_

_Waving a flag for who you are_

_And all you're gonna do_

_Yeah, so here's to you_

_And here's to anyone who's ever felt invisible_

_Yeah, and you're not invisible_

_Hear me out,_

_There's so much more to life than what you're feeling now_

_And someday you'll look back on all these days_

_And all this pain is gonna be invisible_

_It'll be invisible_


	13. Chapter 13

**Guys this is the epilogue. **

**BUT…!**

**I have an idea for **_**You're Mine**_** now so I'm starting the sequel.**

"Mommy?" Kayla asks.

"Hmm honey?" I ask.

"I can't learn a handstand! I'm never going to be as good as you are!" Peeta darts past me and kisses my cheek on the way to the kitchen.

"Well do you want me to help you?" I ask.

"Yes please!" She begs. I take my five year old daughter to the backyard and begin to teach her how to do a handstand. She struggles and every time she tries to get up, I encourage her to keep trying and to never give up. Sure enough, after a few hours, she's got it down pat, and then we start on cartwheels. I'm twenty five years old.

I got pregnant in college and had to finish classes online. Dad was pissed for a while, but he stopped caring once we found out it was a girl. He flipped out and he started buying everything for the baby. By the time I was six months, we had everything we could need without even spending a dime. Kayla has three uncles, and they treat her like royalty. Johanna is the godmother since Finn and Ann are married and they are the Aunt and Uncle, but we made Rye the godfather.

Peeta comes outside and watches us for a couple minutes, and then he says, "It's time for dinner."

"Can we finish after dinner so I can learn everything you know?" Kayla asks hopefully.

"You can't learn everything tonight."

"Will I learn though? To do that flappy thing?"

"Of course you will!"

"Do it Mommy!"

I do a backflip and she starts jumping up and down, excited.

Another big thing that happened is I was in the Olympics for gymnastics and I got two gold medals. That was the night that Peeta and I made Kayla.

Of course, she doesn't know that, or about sex, or how babies are made, or anything like that. I avoid talking about death with her, and anything that could scare her, and so does everyone else. Nobody in the family has had a kid yet, so she's the baby, and she's a kid. She doesn't need that kind of stuff in her pretty little mind.

She's my baby, and so it's Peeta.

Without my babies I'm incomplete. Without my babies, which are the key to my happiness, I'm nothing.

It's like I'm invisible, but I'm not, and Peeta taught me that.

I am forever thankful he showed up right when I was about to hit the end. If he didn't I think we both know I would be in a box in the ground.

If hye didn't, I would be invisible.

Not my existence, of course, but physically, I would be gone.

And I don't want that. I don't want to be invisible.

I like living, and existing.

Insults don't bother me anymore.

Unless they're directed at one of my babies.

Then I'll snap their neck like a twig.


End file.
